The Book Of Me, Prompt #11: Military

The Book Of Me, Prompt #11: Military

On this Veteran's Day, as on every Veteran's Day, I will take some extra time to remember my maternal grandparents, Dina Licciardi Bellan and William Bellan.  Both served during World War II.  My grandfather, a child of Croatian immigrants, was in the U.S. Army, 37th Infantry Division, 134th Field Artillery.  He fought in the Bougainville Campaign in the South Pacific during the War.

William Bellan

William Bellan with some of his fellow infantrymen, Cleveland Plain Dealer, 1944.

My grandmother was born in northern Italy and immigrated to the U.S. with her parents when she was about six years old.  Her father served in the Italian Army during World War I.  She joined the U.S. Coast Guard SPARS, which was a women's division of the Coast Guard created in 1942.  She spent most of her time working and training in Florida.

Dina Licciardi Bellan

My grandmother kept a wonderful photo album documenting her time in the Coast Guard.  There are photos of her and many of her fellow SPARS and visiting servicemen, as well as photos of their training drills and facilities in Florida.  Many of the photos in the album are labeled with individuals' names and where they were from.  I tell myself that someday, if I ever get the time, I am going to use my "awesome" genealogy skills to track down the descendants of her friends pictured.  I do know that she kept in touch with a few of her Coast Guard friends until she passed away in 1997.

Page from Dina's Coast Guard Photo Album.

After the war, they both returned to live with their parents in their hometown of Cleveland, Ohio.  They met each other at a local USO event and were married in 1947.  Here is their engagement announcement from the local Catholic War Veterans newsletter dated 2 Feb 1947:

The Book Of Me, Prompt #10: Unexplained Memories

The Book of Me, Prompt #10: Unexplained Memories

In this week's prompt, we are encouraged to discuss any memories of our past that we have that either don't make sense in a certain context or ones that we fully don't understand, etc.  This prompt is difficult for me, because I have a *very* good memory.  I remember people and places and events from when I was as young as 3-4 years old, and it's not because older people have told me about them.  My memory was my greatest asset in school, and it is undoubtedly the main reason I always did so well in school.  My memory is very spatially-oriented.  I would be taking a test at school, and I could actually picture where in my study notebook or textbook that particular fact or information was located.  I think this spatial memory, if that's what you want to call it, is also why I love reading and looking at maps.

So, the answer to this prompt, is no, I don't have any unexplained memories but I have a TON of other memories, so watch out if you cross me, because I WILL remember.  :-)   

The Book of Me, Prompt #9: Halloween

The Book of Me, Prompt #9: Halloween

Halloween has always been one of my very favorite holidays.  My family celebrated it every year by decorating the house, carving pumpkins, dressing up in costume, and, of course, by trick or treating around the neighborhood. My mom probably wouldn't describe herself as a 'crafty' person, but she did a pretty good job of making some of our costumes.  My dad was elementary school administrator and he dressed up just about every year for his kids at school. When I was a teenager and past the age of trick-or-treating, I used to take my younger siblings out around the neighborhood, OR I would stay at home and pass out candy so that my parents could take the younger ones.  Even today, I really enjoy staying back at home and being able to say 'hi' to ALL the neighborhood kids and see what they are dressed as.  

Halloween 1984.  I was a ghost and my brother was a Ghostbuster

Carving pumpkins with my family, 1990

Since my childhood, it has become larger and much more commercial, but I don't mind too much since it means more fun opportunities for my own children. Our Children's Museum has a wonderful non-scary 'haunted house,' and many zoos have Halloween festivals throughout the month of October.  Local schools and churches also have 'trunk or treat' events in which people 'tailgate' in a parking lot while the children go around collecting goodies. Halloween is wonderful at bringing neighborhoods and communities together in a way that is so much fun for children.  And the act of dressing up and role-playing is just SO great for kids' imaginative development; we actually have a 'dress-up' bin on our basement where all of our old Halloween costumes go.  I encourage the kids to play dress-up all throughout the year - not just at Halloween.

My son's 1st Halloween, 2008

Helping Dad clean out pumpkin, 2009

My daughter as a ladybug, 2011

Halloween 2012, the firefighter and his firehouse dog

The Book Of Me, Prompt #8: Time Capsule

Prompt #8: Time Capsule

For this post, we are supposed to create either a literal or figurative time capsule that reflects either ourselves or a loved one OR that represents a certain time or event.  I have chosen to create a time capsule for myself, since through this Book of Me, I am trying to capture who I am for my children and hopefully grandchildren someday.  For now, it will just be a figurative capsule; perhaps in the future, I will make it into a physical time capsule.

When I imagine a time capsule, I think of a box or container - something that's not very big and that will not hold many items.  So, I am envisioning things that would fit in maybe a large shoe/boot box.  

1.) A compression stocking:  It is something that I wear on my leg all day every day of my life and it represents a physical 'disability' (hate that word) that I have had to deal with my entire life.  (You can read more about that in this post.)  

2.) University degrees:  My children don't know me as anything other than a mom, and I want them to realize that I once had other ambitions and dreams.  Becoming a meteorologist was something that I had wanted to do since I was about ten years old, and my degrees represent the fulfillment of that goal.  At this point, it doesn't look as if I will ever work in that profession again, but I want my descendants to know that I loved the weather and climate enough to spend six years of my life formally studying it.

My Master's Degree

3.) A USB drive of all my genealogy research and family photos: Since giving up my career to become a mom, family history research has been my hobby and passion, and I am very proud of what I have learned and collected over the past few years.  I'd also put my blog posts on the same drive, because I've spent countless hours writing about the stories of my and my husband's family and I really want my descendants to read those someday.

4.) Usernames and passwords for Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and 'cloud' storage accounts: Recently, my husband and I were reading through some of our old Facebook posts from several years ago, and it was wonderful how they really helped us remember the times when our kids were younger and the struggles/joys we were experiencing as new parents. 

5.) Grandmother's rosary: I was trying to come up with some sort of memento or symbol to represent me as a mother, which is what encompasses most of my time and energy these days.  I was also struggling to find a way to include the fact that I am a Catholic, but my recent struggles with my faith make me reluctant to put something as powerful as a Bible in the capsule.  So, for my time capsule, I am going to include my grandmother's rosary. Obviously, it is a family heirloom that belonged to a dear loved one, but it also represents the Blessed Mother. During my very difficult pregnancy with my son, I prayed a rosary every day, asking for Mary's intercession.  My son and I made it through the pregnancy just fine.

Grandma Bellan's Rosary

6.) My AAA membership card (American Automobile Association), my passport, and our U.S. National Parks stamp book: I love to travel, and thankfully, I married a man who loves it as much as I do.  We love visiting national parks and monuments.  We bought this little book on our honeymoon; every time you visit a national park, monument, trail, landmark, etc, you get a stamp with the date on it. It's a great way for remembering where you've been and where you still need to visit.  

U.S. National Parks Passport Stamp Book

7.) A tea bag and an empty cold cereal box:  I have at least one cup of strong black hot tea every day, even in the heat of the summer.  And if there were one type of food I could survive on for the rest of my life, it would be cold cereal.  I sometimes eat it for dinner, and, yes, my husband makes fun of me.

8.) A photo or postcard showing Cleveland, Ohio.  I haven't lived there in 15 years, but it's where I grew up and where most of my family still lives.  It will always be my hometown.

Cleveland, Ohio (source: Wikimedia Commons)

9.) Knitting needles or one of my small knitting creations: I love to knit, and don't get enough time to really do it properly these days.  I can see myself getting back into it more as my kids get older.  (And, not to toot my own horn too much, but I was pretty good at it!)

A hat that I made for my son

10.) A pair of thick, warm socks: My feet are always cold. Even in the summertime, I have to wear a pair of socks to bed.

11.) A list of my favorite books: I love to read.  I obviously can't put all my favorite books into the time capsule, but I would make a list of my favorites and put that in instead.  (And I really am going to make this list, thanks to this prompt.)  It's going to consist of a lot of 'classics,' but also some historical non-fiction, biographies, and fantasy/young adult dystopia.  I hope my children embrace reading for fun as much as I do.

12.) A USB drive or a CD filled with the music of Johann Sebastian Bach.  Now, I love many different genres of music, including a lot of modern-day pop and rock music, but Bach's music is just beauty and emotion in musical form.  In my eyes, it is what music should be, it is how music should make you feel, if that makes sense.

The Book of Me, Prompt #7: Grandparents

I am fortunate enough to have at least some memories of each of my four grandparents.  They were all children of working-class immigrants.  Most of them, maybe with the exception of my maternal grandmother, grew up without much money or many possessions.  They grew up bilingual at a time when it wasn't 'cool' to be bilingual.

My paternal grandmother, Veronica Sophie Bodziony, was born in 1919 in Cleveland, Ohio. Both of her parents were Polish immigrants, and she had five siblings who lived into adulthood.  I knew her the least of all my grandparents; she passed away of cancer complications when I was only four and a half years old.  My parents and aunts and uncle believe she would have survive had she been diagnosed with today's medical advances, but it was the early 1980s and the advancements just weren't there yet.  I remember her in the kitchen - always in the kitchen.  From what I've been told, she was a great cook and a fabulous baker.  She also crocheted and sewed, although I have no memories of her ever sitting down.  Around the time she got sick, she bought a little yellow bird and I remember helping her clean out its cage.  (That bird lived probably for 10-15 years after she died, and my grandfather continued to care for it that whole time.)

Veronica Bodziony Senior Yearbook

She was the first high school graduate of her family.  She married my grandfather in 1939, and they had four children between 1946 and 1955.  She passed away in 1983 at the age of 64.

Veronica Bodziony Kowalski with her husband, Cas and three of their children

Her husband and my paternal grandfather, Casimer John Kowalski, was born in 1915, also in Cleveland, Ohio.  His parents were also Polish immigrants.  He was the youngest of four boys, and the only one of them born in America.  His mother passed away of appendicitis when he was only four years old.  Her death split up the family temporarily; in the 1920 census, his father and two older brothers were living with a 'cousin,' his other brother was living with another family and is listed as 'adopted,' and I cannot find where he was living.  My great-grandfather remarried in 1921, which brought them all back together.  

Casimer's father owned and operated a neighborhood hardware store, which the family also lived above. My grandfather left high school early, worked in a foundry for a little while, and eventually became a union plumber.  I have many memories of him coming over our house to fix our toilets and pipes, even when he was quite elderly.  He was always pro-union and wouldn't even shop at the local grocery store that employed non-union members. 

Grandpa Kowalski (kneeling, 2nd from right in white t-shirt) with one of his baseball teams

He also LOVED baseball.  From what I've been told he was a very good player and he worked as a Greater Cleveland Slow-Pitch umpire for 50 years.  He was usually a difficult person to talk to, unless you wanted to talk baseball, and then it became easy to have a real conversation with him.  He was the last of my grandparents to pass away - almost 87 years old when he died in 2002.  I'll always be grateful for the financial assistance he provided to my parents and my aunts and uncles, so that they could send me, my four siblings, and my other four cousins to parochial schools.  It's probably not what he had planned to do with his life savings and pension before my grandmother passed away, but I think he turned a tragic situation into something very positive and beneficial for his grandchildren. When my sister graduates from college in May, my grandfather's nine grandchildren will have accumulated fourteen bachelor's and advanced university degrees.  And much of the credit goes to this man who wasn't able to finish high school himself, but who saw the value in a good education.  

Grandpa Kowalski counting money at his local church.

My maternal grandmother, Dina Christine Licciardi, was born in 1914 Iselle, Italy, a small town in extreme northern Italy, right on the Swiss border.  Her father, a Sicilian, was in the Italian Army when he met my great-grandmother in Milan.  After WWI, my great-grandfather immigrated to America in 1920, and my great-grandmother, grandma, and great aunt followed in 1921.  They, too, settled in Cleveland, Ohio.  My great-grandfather ran a tailoring/embroidery business and was very active in the city's Italian-American community.

The Licciardi Family, 1937 (Dina seated on right)

Grandma Dina did not 'settle down' right away with a husband like most girls her age at the time.  She attended a secretarial school for a couple of years, and, shortly after the U.S. entered WWII, she joined the Coast Guard Women's Reserve (SPARS).  She spent most of her time training and working in Florida at that time, and fortunately for me, kept a very nice photo album of her time there.  She made some very good friends at that time - women with whom she kept in touch for many decades later.  She met my grandfather, an Army veteran, at a USO event after the war and they married in 1947.  They had two children and moved out to the suburbs where they both became active in their parish church.  (They were founding members of the parish where my parents were married, where three of my siblings were baptized, and where I was married.)

Dina Licciardi

Grandma Dina was probably the grandparent I knew the best.  She and my grandfather babysat us a lot when we were kids and we visited their house frequently.  My brother and I loved to explore her basement. They had a large pantry down there that we used to hide in, and an old bar where we used to find old New Year's Eve party favors. There was an big old console record player with Perry Como and Dean Martin albums stored in it.

Grandma and Grandpa Bellan as an engaged couple, New Year'sEve 1946

She was my confirmation sponsor in high school, and I lived with her for the last two years of her life.  We did not always get along.  In my eyes, she had somewhat 'old-fashioned' views about the roles of men and women.  I remember one day she scolded me for not leaving enough dinner for my Dad before he got home from work, saying something about how he should have first choice because he was off working hard for the family.  Um, yeah, not something a 16 year old career-driven girl wants to hear.  Now that I am a stay-at-home-mom, I think I better understand her motivation behind comments like that, and I appreciate all of the cooking housework she did for 40+ years of her life.  She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer around Thanksgiving 1996 and by January 1997 she was gone.  At that point, she was living in her house and I remember holding my 6 year old sister in my arms while we watched the priest give her the Last Rites in her bedroom.  I didn't cry then, but that night in my room I did by myself.  I keep the flag that covered her casket in my kitchen, in the hopes that her phenomenal cooking skills will somehow rub off on me.  (Hasn't worked yet.)

Her husband, William Bellan, was the child of Croatian immigrants.  He was born in 1914 in Lorain County, Ohio, but grew up on the east side of Cleveland.  He had seven siblings, all except one who were older than him.  Three of his older siblings passed away as young adults in the 1920s; my mom says that he never talked about them, so I just assume they were just bad memories he didn't want  He studied printing in high school and he worked for a publishing company most of his life.  He served in the Army during WWII and for much of the time he was stationed in the Solomon Islands.  

Bill Bellan's U.S. Army Portrait

Grandpa Bellan loved to golf and play games with us. I wrote a blog post on his birthday last spring detailing some of my memories with him.  He liked to build things with wood.  He built a sandbox for me and my brother, and I still use a small bookshelf that he made.  Grandpa was pretty laid back and just had a tendency to 'go with the flow.'  My grandmother was more of the structured, organized planner in the partnership.  He passed away in 1989 when I was ten years old.  It was difficult for my grandma; she was a social person and it was hard for her to live alone.  She would call our house everyday to talk to whoever would listen.  But, I think it made her a stronger person and it made me admire her more.  After forty years of never driving, she relearned and even bought herself a new car.  She continued to stay active in the church and still loved going to meet up with old friends.  

Me with Grandpa Bellan, 1980

The Book of Me, Prompt #6: Journals and Diaries

I do not keep a journal or diary, and really never have for any extended period of time.  When I was a kid/teenager, the thought of writing for "fun" was a complete turn-off.  (My 10th grade English teacher made us write a journal entry every day in class and I dreaded it every day.)  I did a little journaling in a sketch book for a few months in my early 20s when I had just started graduate school.  It was dark stuff, though; like, I'm-so-depressed-I-want-to-kill-myself dark.  I don't know if I've kept that book, or if I've tossed it out during one of my many moves.  Not really sure I would want anyone reading it, anyway.

My way of chronicling my life has always been photography.  Even as a pre-teen, I remember just loving to take photos of my family members.  I tease my younger sister that there wouldn't have been too many baby/toddler photos of her if it weren't for my picture-taking.  When we would go on vacation, I would take the typical 'tourist' photos of interesting sites or buildings.  

When I had finally finished college and graduate school, I started making scrapbooks of my old photos. I made one of my trip to Europe I took when I was 18.  I made three books with photos from my college and graduate schools days.  I didn't have the patience or creativity to really get into scrapbooking like some people do, but it did make my photos more presentable that just being in a plain old photo album.  I also went back to my parents' house and made a Christmas with the Kowalski's scrapbook, using family Christmas photos from the past 30 years or so.  For my younger brother's college graduation, I gave him a scrapbook that I made using photos from his babyhood all the way up through high school graduation.  I intended to do this for my other three siblings, as well, but I then I had my first baby and extra time was not on my side.  Now that all of my photos are digital, I use online scrapbooking services like Shutterfly to make memory books.  It's actually more cost-efficient and there is less craft mess!

A few of my many 'old school' scrapbooks.

I enjoy going back through my old photos and thinking about how my picture-taking has developed and grown, which I know some people do with written journals, too.  I've never taken any sort of photography class, so my own style has developed 'organically,' if you will.  When I was younger, the photos I would take while traveling would be of important structures - museums, churches, landmarks - and myself standing in front of them.  Now, when I travel, I find that I enjoy trying to capture more of the place's culture and environment.  I take more photos of local people, street signs, local plants, and smaller architectural features like unique doors and windows.  I also try to save receipts, maps, ticket stubs, fliers, and restaurant business cards from our travels.  I glue them into my scrapbooks, and, when I go back and look at the books years later, I am amazed at how much those little pieces of memorabilia help me remember the trip better.

A couple of examples of the types of photos I LOVE at this point in my life:  I went on a month-long whirlwind tour of Europe (seven countries) after I graduated from high school.  Most of my photos from that trip are of the buildings and museums and churches - typical tourist photos.  Our last stop was Amsterdam and we were only spending about 24 hours there.  I remember trying to use up the rest of the film in my camera and I took this photo.  Today, this is one of my favorite photos from Amsterdam and from my entire trip. (I've fiddled around with editing the colors a bit here.)  Just so unique to Amsterdam and it tells you so much about the city.

Bicycles in Amsterdam

Last year, my husband and I took a trip to Boston.  We were walking around Cambridge and saw a few teenagers carrying lacrosse poles.  A common sight, yes, for those in the Northeast U.S, but we never see anything like this in Indiana.  They probably thought I was crazy, but who cares!

Lacrosse players in Cambridge, MA

I now also like photos that tell a story.  As a mom, I find myself taking photos of my kids' messes, or even of them when they are mad and/or crying. (Don't worry, I always follow it up with lots of comforting cuddles!)   If my son is deep in thought while trying to build a Lego creation, I'll snap a photo.  When we go out to eat, especially if it is someplace unique and/or special, I take photos of our food and drinks.

My shrimp creole lunch from a cafe in New Orleans.

So, as to whether or not all my photography and scrapbooking counts as a journal, I'm not sure.  Hopefully, my descendants will look at the photos I've taken at different points in my life and, not only have a record, so to speak, of my daily activities, but also be able to deduce my personality and priorities from those photos.  I now have two blogs, so I've definitely been doing more writing about myself and my life over the past couple of years, but I have no doubt that my primary form of documenting my and my family's lives will remain photography. My kids had better buy some 'cloud' space, because they're gonna need it once mama passes on!  

The Book of Me, Prompt #5: My Childhood Home

*Sigh*  I wasn't excited about this prompt when I first saw it.  I lived in three homes between babyhood and young adulthood, so I knew that I'd have to choose one of them to talk about first. (I feel like I'd get too distracted if I focused on more than one.)  The first home I lived in, I don't remember too much; we moved out of it when I was about four years old.  The third home I lived in, we moved in when I was 16, and I left for college when I was 18, so I really only lived there full-time for a couple of years.  Therefore, I'm going to talk about the house I lived in roughly between the ages of 5 and 15.

The house was located on Woodbury Hills Drive in Parma, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland.  Both sets of my grandparents lived in Parma, but we had been living about a hour away in Painesville, Ohio, because that is where my Dad worked.  My Dad's mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was about three or four; we moved to Parma to be closer to family. (Dad continued to commute to Painesville for work for several more years.)

Location of house in relation to Downtown Cleveland and Painesville (where Dad worked).

Our house in Painesville had been a small ranch, so my parents were looking for a larger house.  My brother and I were getting bigger, accumulating more 'stuff,' and they wanted to have more children, so they needed a place where our family could grow.  They bought the house on Woodbury Hills from an older 'empty-nest' couple.  At that time they purchased it, the home was almost 20 years old.  Structurally, it was in fine shape, but it needed a lot of maintenance-related and cosmetic upgrades.  I remember my dad painting all of the shutters and siding by himself; he also put a new roof on with the help of one of his contractor friends.  My parents re-wallpapered the kitchen and bathrooms on their own and they had just about all of the carpeting on the main floor and staircase replaced. 

I do not have a great photo here at my house (my mom's probably got a better one), so I'll post the one from Google Street View.  It's a four-bedroom 'Colonial style' two-story house with a two-car garage.  The exterior is white aluminum siding with black shutters and a black roof.  There was a small amount of red brick surrounding the large bay window on the left side of the photo.  The house had a large all-brick wood-burning fire place, a poured concrete patio in the backyard and a concrete front porch (behind tree in this photo.)

Woodbury Hills house via Google Street View

The house was on a nice suburban street that had only local traffic and sidewalks, which was great because in our old house, the lack of sidewalks meant that I was only allowed to ride my bike up and down our long driveway.  We had a nice big backyard, with a small metal swing set to play on and a plastic 'tire' swing on the big tree in the back corner.  When we got our dog, Cookie, my Dad tied a clothesline from the house all the way out to that big tree, and attached an extended leash to it, so she could run the length of the yard.  

With my Uncle Bill and cousin, Jon on front porch

Instead of just describing the home's floorplan, I've attempted to piece together photos to create my own panoramas of some of the rooms. This first compilation of photos takes you almost 360 degrees around our front living room.  My parents added that nice dark red carpet after we moved in.  My mom also got new window treatments on that bay window.  When we moved in, that window had thick, mustard yellow drapes (and when I say 'drapes,' I mean DRAPES - big and bulky and not very attractive).

Living Room

A lot happened in the living room, as you can see.  We kept our extra TV in there and it was where we usually set up our Christmas tree.  For many of the years we lived there, there was a large wooden baby playpen somewhere in the room for whichever of my siblings was the baby at the time.

If you walked straight past the living room after entering the front door, you entered the kitchen. Our kitchen was way too small for a family of seven; our casual dining table barely even fit in there.  Nonetheless, we cooked in there, fed babies, celebrated birthdays, carved pumpkins, and dyed Easter eggs in this room. When we moved in, the kitchen's walls were covered in *bright* orange, yellow and green flowers - talk about a trend from the 60s!  My parents replaced that wallpaper with one that was more neutral and easier on the eyes.  We had a "lovely" avocado green refrigerator.  My mom kept a boom box on the ledge separating the kitchen from the living room.  She would put on tapes to listen to while preparing meals.  It was here, through that boom box, that my brother and I first listened to Michael Jackson's Thriller, Huey Lewis and the News' Sports and The Cars' Heartbeat City.  My parents also kept a rather flimsy wine rack on the same ledge as the boom box.  I am not sure how that thing made it through five kids and 10+ years without completely shattering all over the floor, but it did.

Kitchen

Adjacent to the kitchen was the 'formal' dining room.  We usually only used it if we had company over for Easter, Thanksgiving, or birthday parties.  There's a good shot of those mustard yellow drapes!

Dining Room

The basement door was located right off the kitchen. I don't have any photos from the basement, but my brother and I had lots of good times down there.  Whenever my parents had to buy a new large appliance, they'd throw the box down there and we would roll around in it.  My mom had a record player down there. I specifically remember listening and dancing to Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits albums, and, in particular, the song It's So Easy.  My brother had a TON of Matchbox cars that we would race on his track sets. And, as we got older, the basement is where we played video games: first an Atari 2600, then a Classic Nintendo, and then a Sega Genesis system.  My mom also did laundry down in the basement, and I remember helping her many times with that. (Ok, so maybe catching toys my brother tossed down the laundry chute from upstairs isn't exactly "helping," but it's a fun memory anyway.) 

Just past the basement door was a hallway that lead to our large 'family room.'  You had to take a step down in order to get into that hallway.  At one time or another, all THREE of my brothers fell in that hallway and hit their heads on that step, leaving a gash in their foreheads, which required a trip to the ER (and stitches).  For some reason, it never happened to me or my sister.

I wasn't able to make a 360 degree panorama of our family room, so I put two smaller ones together, instead.  This is one of the west wall of the room, which included our large brick wood-burning fireplace. The walls of the entire room were wood paneling, which made it look rather dark most of the time.  Along the south wall, we had a long church pew.  My parents bought it from our church when they were building a new church and getting completely new furnishings.  It was the church in which they were married, and they still have it in their current home. The door out to the garage was on the other side of that pew.

Family Room West Wall

This other photo is the east wall of the family room.  The door on the left was a tiny half bathroom and the door in the right was an exterior door that lead out to our patio.  The large bookcase held most of our childhood books.  During the summer months, the desk back in the corner had an Apple IIe computer that my brother and I used to enjoy playing games on.  (My Dad was a school administrator and was able to 'check out' one of his school's computers for the summer.)

Family Room East Wall

I don't have any photos right now of this home's upper floor.  There were four bedrooms and two full baths, one of which was in the master bedroom.  My room was painted blue and it was pretty large.  As our family grew, there was a shuffling of rooms between my brothers, but I always remained in my blue room.  My oldest younger brother got the smallest bedroom, and then my other two brothers who were closer in age shared the 'green' room.  I briefly shared my room with my baby sister, but my parents moved her crib into their room when they realized I was at that age (12ish) when I really needed some privacy.  I had a twin bed and dresser+mirror, which were painted a light gray color.  I also had a larger wooden bookshelf and a smaller one, which doubled as a night stand.  I was not a 'girly' girl, so there were not really a whole lot of baby dolls or Barbie dolls.  I enjoyed playing with My Little Ponies for awhile, so those were usually strewn across my bedroom floor.

The staircase between the home's main floor and upper floor is memorable to my brother and me.  We would collect every pillow in the house, lay them out on that staircase, and make a 'pillow slide.'  That staircase wall was also where my mom hung all of our family photos.

Me and My Brother in Front of Staircase

The Book of Me, Prompt 4: My Favorite Season

Fall.  As soon as I saw this prompt, I knew my immediate answer - Fall.

I've spent my entire life in the American Midwest.  We (usually) experience four very distinct seasons. Winters are snowy, cold and windy. Spring is often quite pleasant, but it can still be chilly, rainy, and breezy. Summers are hot and humid, usually with somewhat sporadic rainfall.  The summer heat and humidity are typically not kind to my leg; I experience more swelling, which sometimes leads to more pain.  But Autumn in these American mid-latitudes is (to me) simply marvelous.  

Who doesn't love Autumn's colorful leaves?  My parents' first home had lots of large, old trees in the backyard, which, of course, meant lots of fun in the fall. (Ok, maybe not for my Dad :-)  We only lived in that house until I was about four years old, but I DO remember the leaves.  As I got older, I enjoyed Fall because it meant going back to school.  I loved school, I loved learning; to me, summer seemed like a waste of time and I was often bored.  My favorite sport to play at school was volleyball, and that was always a Fall sport.  Oh, and my birthday is in early November, so of course when you are a kid, you look forward to that every year.

Me, Fall 1979

As an adult, I've even decided that the beginning of Fall - September, early October) is my absolute favorite time of the year.  The temperature starts to cool down, but you can usually still go out without a jacket.  The sun is still relatively warm upon your face, but you don't feel like you're going to melt after ten minutes.  I've recently discovered that I enjoy apple-picking, and this is prime time for that.  And I've also recently discovered some of the wonderful Fall colors right in my 'backyard.'  I currently live in Indiana.  If you aren't very familiar with this state, all you really need to know is Indianapolis 500 and corn.  There are corn fields literally across the street from my neighborhood.   As a 'city gal' this bothered me at first, but I've learned to recognize and appreciate the beauty of the corn (and soybean) fields, especially early in the Fall.  

Yep, we have a lot of farm fields in Indiana, but it's not a flat, homogeneous landscape that's common farther west in the Great Plains.  We've got trees, and plenty of them.  So, my favorite view of early Fall occurs when the sun is out and the sky is completely clear of clouds.  The trees are still a rich, healthy shade of green and the cornstalks are a golden yellow-brown hue.  I am soooo NOT an artist, but I tried to make a quick sketch.  It turned out quite abstract, but the colors I wanted to capture are actually pretty accurate.  

I LOVE watching my children enjoy the Fall - the leaves, apple-picking, pumpkin patches, hayrides, Halloween, etc.

And finally, I think that Autumn just suits my personality more than any other season.  I'm a glass-half-empty kind of person, so I always seem to be preparing for the worst, just like the plants and animals are planning for the cold, barren winter.  I have a lot of days in which I just feel somewhat melancholy, not necessarily sad or depressed, but the feeling itself reminds me of an overcast rainy Fall day.

The Book of Me, Prompt #3: Your Physical Self (Part 2)

In Part 1, I alluded to a condition I have in my left pelvis and leg.  I was born with Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome (KTS).  People with KTS typically have capillary, vascular, and lymphatic malformations.  These malformations are usually confined to only one limb or one side of the body.  KTS is not something that is passed down from generation to generation; it is likely the result of a genetic mutation that occurs during embryonic development.  It occurs randomly. 

I have a port-wine stain birthmark that stretches from my left hip all the way down the entire length of my left leg and foot.  I have had varicose veins in the leg most of my life.  I started wearing a compression stocking as a young teenager, although not every day as I should have done.  In my 20s, my condition worsened dramatically and I had to start walking with a cane.  At that time, I had several surgeries to try to close off some of the most painful veins; however, that just pushes the blood into other poorly-functioning veins, so those end up becoming varicose, too.  I now must wear a thigh-length 40-50 mmHg compression stocking from the time I get out of bed until I go to sleep at night.  My foot swells up more than any other part of my leg, because the blood just pools down there, and I usually have to by wide-width shoes.  I try to rest and elevate the leg as much as I can throughout the day.  When I overdo it, I do get painful superficial blood clots, usually in my foot.  Thankfully, at this point, over-the-counter pain relievers are sufficient for me when I'm experiencing pain.  Many people with KTS need some pretty heavy-duty prescription pain meds to make it through each day. 

There are no cures for KTS. Many KTS patients I know suffer from bleeding ulcers and skin infections that land them in the hospital repeatedly.  Some others have had their KT limbs amputated.  I am fortunate in that I have never had to deal with any of those complications.

This disease is obviously a huge part of who I am and has shaped me into the person I am today, for better and for worse.  It limits me physically from being able to do the things I would like to do, but, at the same time, it helps me to put other 'small' problems into perspective and it makes me thankful for the blessings I do have.  The disease has kept my vanity in check, but it has also severely weakened by self-esteem.  I typically wear long pants or very long skirts and shoes that completely cover my foot, because I am apprehensive of other people seeing it.

BUT, I've decided to include it in my Book of Me because it is not something I am ashamed of.  I want my kids to be happy with their physical bodies, no matter what they look like, and I need to set the example.  (My daughter is only three years old, and yet she is already very perceptive of her appearance.)  Yes, my leg is unattractive and what some people would label ugly, but it is what I was given, so I must make the most of it.

Here are a couple of photos of my leg with and without my stocking on.  I must wear a toe cap in addition to the open-toe stocking, in order to keep my toes from swelling too much.

The Book of Me, Prompt #3: Your Physical Self (Part 1)

I decided to make a video for part of my response to prompt #3.

I plan on doing a 'Part 2' to this prompt later this week in which I will include some additional photographs and information.

Newspaper from Birthday

Here is the front page of The Cleveland Plain Dealer from November 4, 1978, my birthday.  It's not that unique, really, or even historically nostalgic.  We've got a story about a guy traveling across the nation in a covered wagon to protest high taxes (yikes), a story about the financial woes of the City of Cleveland (I see nothing's changed there), a story about problems with the Carter administration (standard in every newspaper edition from 1977-1980), and a story about a violent crime in the city (Again, I see nothing has changed there).

Prompt #2: Your Birth

I was born at 2:00 am on November 4, 1978 at Lake County Memorial Hospital in Painesville, Ohio, a town about 30 miles northeast of Cleveland, Ohio.  My dad and my mom, Terry and Jennifer (Bellan) Kowalski, both aged 27 years, named me Emily Claire, a name which I feel does not suit me at all.  I weighed 6lbs, 11oz at birth.  A port wine stain birthmark stretched all the way from my left hip bone down the entire length of my left leg. (Despite what doctors told my parents when I was a child, it turned out to be much more than 'just a birthmark.')  My hips were uneven, and I had to wear a brace on them for the first year of my life, so I crawled and walked later than most babies.  Overall, I was a healthy baby, the first child of my parents and the first grandchild of paternal grandparents.  This is a needlepoint that my dad's mom made for me.  It hung on the wall in my room all through my childhood.

Needlepoint made by Veronica Kowalski

The Book of Me, Reflections on Prompt #1

Since creating my 'I am' series last Saturday for prompt #1, I have read back through it several times, though not adding or subtracting anything or changing around the order of the statements.  I have been thinking more about why I included certain 'identities' of myself and excluded others. I wrote the original post in a very quick manner, without giving much thought to each individual statement, so I feel as if I was almost channeling my subconscious in the exercise. (I did not stop at #20, I just quit when I got a lapse in my train of thought and said "that's it.")  So, here are some thoughts about the exclusions I ended up making:

I am happy/content.  I am not really surprised that I left this one off my list.  I would be the first to admit that I am a "glass half empty" kind of person.  I've struggled with depression in the past and I worry too much about the future, usually for no good reason.  Someday, I would like to be able to write a list like this and have the words 'I am happy.' roll right off my keyboard as the first statement.

I am tolerant/accepting/open-minded.  This is one of the really important virtues that I try to instill in my kids everyday, so the fact that I did NOT list it in a description of myself in a bit disconcerting to me.  Is this a case of me needing to do a better job of 'practicing what I preach,' or did it just slip my mind at the time?

I am shy/an introvert.  I am actually quite happy that I left this one out of my list.  I've always thought of myself as more on the shy side.  I'm usually much happier outside of larger social situations.  But we've only lived in our current town about a year, and I need to keep trying to make new friends, so thinking of myself as an introvert would not be helpful at all in that respect. 

I am an American.  Oh boy, my Italian-immigrant great-grandfather is rolling around in his grave, because he LOVED America, and this probably would have been the first statement on his list.  Is my world view so small that I just take my American citizenship, rights, and freedoms for granted?

I am a Christian.  I am sad that I left this out of my original list, but I'm not surprised.  Over the last few years, I admit that my faith has wavered due to personal issues I've been dealing with AND the fact that I disagree with a lot of what my particular denomination teaches.  But I do pray often, I believe in God, and I believe in the presence of an afterlife.

I am blessed/thankful.  I am really disappointed in myself for not including something along these lines, because nearly every day, I try to give thanks for a least one aspect of my life.  And I truly do have an endless list of people and things I have been blessed with - I need to carry that thought with me at all times.

I understand that others who participated in this exercise put much more active thought and organization into their post for Prompt #1 than I did, and that some people are going to be continually adding to their lists.  I have not decided if I will be doing so or not.  I sort of just like having a record of who I thought I was on that particular day - it would be interesting if I did this exercise every six months or every year, just to see how my views of myself change over time.

Have you gone back through your 'I am' list and wondered why you included some things but not others?  I'd love to hear about your opinions!

The Book of Me, Prompt 1: Who are you?

Who am I?

I am strong.

I am (somewhat) disabled.

I am a woman.

I am a mother.

I am a wife.

I am true.

I am vulnerable.

I am a meteorologist.

I am a family historian.

I am scared.

I am stressed.

I am doubtful.

I am insecure.

I am wandering.

I am musical.

I am a reader.

I am a teacher.

I am a friend.

I am a sister.

I am a daughter.

I am a Kappa Kappa Gamma.

I am a volunteer.
I am a Valparaiso Crusader.
I am a Nittany Lion.
I am an Ohioan.
I am homesick.
I am a 'city gal.'