The Book of Me, Prompt #7: Grandparents

I am fortunate enough to have at least some memories of each of my four grandparents.  They were all children of working-class immigrants.  Most of them, maybe with the exception of my maternal grandmother, grew up without much money or many possessions.  They grew up bilingual at a time when it wasn't 'cool' to be bilingual.

My paternal grandmother, Veronica Sophie Bodziony, was born in 1919 in Cleveland, Ohio. Both of her parents were Polish immigrants, and she had five siblings who lived into adulthood.  I knew her the least of all my grandparents; she passed away of cancer complications when I was only four and a half years old.  My parents and aunts and uncle believe she would have survive had she been diagnosed with today's medical advances, but it was the early 1980s and the advancements just weren't there yet.  I remember her in the kitchen - always in the kitchen.  From what I've been told, she was a great cook and a fabulous baker.  She also crocheted and sewed, although I have no memories of her ever sitting down.  Around the time she got sick, she bought a little yellow bird and I remember helping her clean out its cage.  (That bird lived probably for 10-15 years after she died, and my grandfather continued to care for it that whole time.)

Veronica Bodziony Senior Yearbook

She was the first high school graduate of her family.  She married my grandfather in 1939, and they had four children between 1946 and 1955.  She passed away in 1983 at the age of 64.

Veronica Bodziony Kowalski with her husband, Cas and three of their children

Her husband and my paternal grandfather, Casimer John Kowalski, was born in 1915, also in Cleveland, Ohio.  His parents were also Polish immigrants.  He was the youngest of four boys, and the only one of them born in America.  His mother passed away of appendicitis when he was only four years old.  Her death split up the family temporarily; in the 1920 census, his father and two older brothers were living with a 'cousin,' his other brother was living with another family and is listed as 'adopted,' and I cannot find where he was living.  My great-grandfather remarried in 1921, which brought them all back together.  

Casimer's father owned and operated a neighborhood hardware store, which the family also lived above. My grandfather left high school early, worked in a foundry for a little while, and eventually became a union plumber.  I have many memories of him coming over our house to fix our toilets and pipes, even when he was quite elderly.  He was always pro-union and wouldn't even shop at the local grocery store that employed non-union members. 

Grandpa Kowalski (kneeling, 2nd from right in white t-shirt) with one of his baseball teams

He also LOVED baseball.  From what I've been told he was a very good player and he worked as a Greater Cleveland Slow-Pitch umpire for 50 years.  He was usually a difficult person to talk to, unless you wanted to talk baseball, and then it became easy to have a real conversation with him.  He was the last of my grandparents to pass away - almost 87 years old when he died in 2002.  I'll always be grateful for the financial assistance he provided to my parents and my aunts and uncles, so that they could send me, my four siblings, and my other four cousins to parochial schools.  It's probably not what he had planned to do with his life savings and pension before my grandmother passed away, but I think he turned a tragic situation into something very positive and beneficial for his grandchildren. When my sister graduates from college in May, my grandfather's nine grandchildren will have accumulated fourteen bachelor's and advanced university degrees.  And much of the credit goes to this man who wasn't able to finish high school himself, but who saw the value in a good education.  

Grandpa Kowalski counting money at his local church.

My maternal grandmother, Dina Christine Licciardi, was born in 1914 Iselle, Italy, a small town in extreme northern Italy, right on the Swiss border.  Her father, a Sicilian, was in the Italian Army when he met my great-grandmother in Milan.  After WWI, my great-grandfather immigrated to America in 1920, and my great-grandmother, grandma, and great aunt followed in 1921.  They, too, settled in Cleveland, Ohio.  My great-grandfather ran a tailoring/embroidery business and was very active in the city's Italian-American community.

The Licciardi Family, 1937 (Dina seated on right)

Grandma Dina did not 'settle down' right away with a husband like most girls her age at the time.  She attended a secretarial school for a couple of years, and, shortly after the U.S. entered WWII, she joined the Coast Guard Women's Reserve (SPARS).  She spent most of her time training and working in Florida at that time, and fortunately for me, kept a very nice photo album of her time there.  She made some very good friends at that time - women with whom she kept in touch for many decades later.  She met my grandfather, an Army veteran, at a USO event after the war and they married in 1947.  They had two children and moved out to the suburbs where they both became active in their parish church.  (They were founding members of the parish where my parents were married, where three of my siblings were baptized, and where I was married.)

Dina Licciardi

Grandma Dina was probably the grandparent I knew the best.  She and my grandfather babysat us a lot when we were kids and we visited their house frequently.  My brother and I loved to explore her basement. They had a large pantry down there that we used to hide in, and an old bar where we used to find old New Year's Eve party favors. There was an big old console record player with Perry Como and Dean Martin albums stored in it.

Grandma and Grandpa Bellan as an engaged couple, New Year'sEve 1946

She was my confirmation sponsor in high school, and I lived with her for the last two years of her life.  We did not always get along.  In my eyes, she had somewhat 'old-fashioned' views about the roles of men and women.  I remember one day she scolded me for not leaving enough dinner for my Dad before he got home from work, saying something about how he should have first choice because he was off working hard for the family.  Um, yeah, not something a 16 year old career-driven girl wants to hear.  Now that I am a stay-at-home-mom, I think I better understand her motivation behind comments like that, and I appreciate all of the cooking housework she did for 40+ years of her life.  She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer around Thanksgiving 1996 and by January 1997 she was gone.  At that point, she was living in her house and I remember holding my 6 year old sister in my arms while we watched the priest give her the Last Rites in her bedroom.  I didn't cry then, but that night in my room I did by myself.  I keep the flag that covered her casket in my kitchen, in the hopes that her phenomenal cooking skills will somehow rub off on me.  (Hasn't worked yet.)

Her husband, William Bellan, was the child of Croatian immigrants.  He was born in 1914 in Lorain County, Ohio, but grew up on the east side of Cleveland.  He had seven siblings, all except one who were older than him.  Three of his older siblings passed away as young adults in the 1920s; my mom says that he never talked about them, so I just assume they were just bad memories he didn't want  He studied printing in high school and he worked for a publishing company most of his life.  He served in the Army during WWII and for much of the time he was stationed in the Solomon Islands.  

Bill Bellan's U.S. Army Portrait

Grandpa Bellan loved to golf and play games with us. I wrote a blog post on his birthday last spring detailing some of my memories with him.  He liked to build things with wood.  He built a sandbox for me and my brother, and I still use a small bookshelf that he made.  Grandpa was pretty laid back and just had a tendency to 'go with the flow.'  My grandmother was more of the structured, organized planner in the partnership.  He passed away in 1989 when I was ten years old.  It was difficult for my grandma; she was a social person and it was hard for her to live alone.  She would call our house everyday to talk to whoever would listen.  But, I think it made her a stronger person and it made me admire her more.  After forty years of never driving, she relearned and even bought herself a new car.  She continued to stay active in the church and still loved going to meet up with old friends.  

Me with Grandpa Bellan, 1980